Not wanting a relationship: why fewer singles say it now

Fewer singles say they don’t want a relationship than a few years ago. In the Singles in America survey, the share who said so climbed for years, reached 32% in 2021, then fell to 24% by 2026.1 So if you’re in that 24%, you’re in a sizeable minority, not an oddity. And the research on why people stay single suggests your reasons may have little in common with the next person’s.

Key takeaways

• The peak has passed. 32% of singles didn’t want a relationship in 2021; 24% in 2026.1
• Most people aren’t shopping, but they’re open. 45% weren’t actively looking yet would welcome the right person; 16% were actively seeking.2
• Money pulls both ways. More singles said the economy made them want a partner, and more said they needed to reach financial milestones first.1
• Reasons vary a lot. One study logged 76 distinct reasons for staying single.4

What does the 2021 peak actually show?

It shows a change in what people said, in the same long-running survey, about 5,000 singles each year.1 It doesn’t show why. The 2021 peak came during the pandemic, and the drop since could reflect people getting out more, a shift in mood, changes in who answers surveys, or all three. The report doesn’t separate those.

What it does add is context. Interest in marriage rose over the same long stretch, from 33% of singles in 2010 to 45% in 2026.1 And when Match broke the 2026 numbers down, the largest group wasn’t the seekers or the opt-outs. It was the “not looking, but open” middle, at 45%.2

That middle matters if you’ve been calling yourself not interested. Pew drew a similar line in a 2019 survey: half of single adults weren’t looking for a relationship or even dates, and the reasons people gave most often were having more important priorities and simply enjoying single life.3 Not looking right now is a schedule. Not wanting one at all is a position. They’re easy to confuse from the inside.

Is money part of it?

For a lot of people, yes, and in two directions at once. In 2026, 52% of singles said the difficult economy made them more interested in finding someone to share life with, up from 27% in 2013.1 Yet compared with 2019, more singles said they needed to reach a certain career point or income, build savings, pay off debt or own a home before a long-term relationship.1

Put those together and you get someone who wants company and doesn’t feel ready for it. If that sounds familiar, the word for it is probably “not yet” rather than “no”.

Why do people choose to stay single?

There isn’t one reason, and the research is fairly blunt about that. A study by Menelaos Apostolou collected 76 separate reasons people gave for staying single. With a sample of 1,096 people, those sorted into 16 broader factors and three overall domains, and a person’s sex, age and personality predicted which reasons they leaned on.4

A review by Christopher Pepping, Geoff MacDonald and Penelope Davis takes a different angle. It argues that long-term singles are a mixed group and points to evidence for at least three kinds: people whose singlehood reflects pulling back from closeness, people whose singlehood is tied to anxious, on-alert attachment, and people for whom being single is a secure personal choice.5 The authors present this as a model with supportive evidence, not a diagnosis anyone can run on themselves.

How do you tell which kind of “no” yours is?

No study can answer that for you, but these questions follow the lines the research draws:

1. Does the “no” change when life gets less busy? If it does, it may be about priorities, the common reason in Pew’s survey.3
2. Is there a list of things you need first? Savings, a better job, a place of your own. That’s the “not yet” pattern that grew in the 2026 survey.1
3. Do you feel relief or unease when someone shows interest? Either reaction is worth noticing. The review links long-term singlehood both to pulling back from closeness and to anxious attachment.5
4. Are your close relationships full? The review describes the secure-choice group as getting closeness from friends and family.5

If your answers point toward pulling away whenever someone gets close, hyper-independence is a useful next read. If they point to genuinely liking your life as it is, nothing here says you need to change that. And if your “no” is softening, the slow-burn research suggests openness often arrives through a conversation rather than a decision.

FAQ

Is it normal not to want a relationship?

Yes. About one in four US singles said so in 2026, down from about one in three in 2021.1

Does not wanting a relationship mean something is wrong with me?

Nothing in this research says so. It describes many reasons for staying single, including a secure choice to do so.5