Monkey branching: lining up someone new before leaving

The image is simple: a monkey doesn’t let go of one branch until it has the next one in its hand. In dating, monkey branching means lining up a new relationship before ending the current one. The term has been everywhere this fall, with an explainer in Times Now on November 2 and a therapist interview distributed by SWNS in October that said searches for it had recently surged.12

It’s a pop term, as the SWNS piece points out.2 But the behavior under it, keeping an eye on other options and switching when one looks good, has been studied for years.

What is it, exactly?

Times Now describes it as building an emotional or romantic connection with someone new while still in a relationship, then making the breakup official once the next landing spot feels secure.1 Often it starts as “just friends,” with more texting and more sharing.

How is it different from cushioning or a rebound?

The Attachment Project’s explainer draws useful lines.5

• Cheating is clearly crossed boundaries during an ongoing relationship, which may not end.
• A rebound is a reaction after a breakup, with no overlap.
• Cushioning is keeping several back-up options warm, not one specific next person.
• Monkey branching is a planned overlap, where the relationship ends once the next is ready.

If you’ve already read about cushioning or being benched, this is the version where the back-up becomes the next partner.

What does the research say?

Evolutionary psychologist David Buss and colleagues laid out what they called the mate switching hypothesis in 2017. It’s a theoretical review, not a single experiment. The argument is that people may keep potential back-up partners in mind and switch when circumstances change: costs rising in the current relationship, a shift in how either partner is valued, or a new interested person showing up.3

A 2020 longitudinal study gives that some data. Researchers followed 779 people in unmarried relationships and measured how much attention they paid to alternative partners. That attention was higher among people who later broke up or cheated, and it rose in the months before a breakup.4 The study shows the pattern happens in advance; it doesn’t show the attention caused the breakup.

Why does it hurt so much on the receiving end?

Therapist Kayla Meyer told SWNS that the partner left behind can end up grieving while also questioning what was real, because the other person moves on so fast. She added that the new partner may be serving as a Band-Aid without knowing it, and that the person switching can skip looking at their own role, which raises the chance of repeating it.2

That last point is the one to hold onto if you’re the one who did it. If you keep reaching for the next branch, grass is greener syndrome looks at the restless comparing that often comes before it.

What isn’t known

• “Monkey branching” itself isn’t a research term. The studies here are about watching alternatives and switching partners.
• The 2020 study is about unmarried couples in the US, and shows timing, not cause.
• The mate switching paper is a theory with supporting evidence from other work, not a direct test of this behavior.